Spaniel Radcliffe “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Bone.”
A couple of months ago, one of my friends was telling me about her 30 before 30 list. It’s a list of goals she wants to accomplish before she hit 30. After berating her unmercifully, I thought, “That’s not a bad idea.” It’s not a bucket list, there’s no race against death, just against time. So I went ahead and made one. And it took a really long time. And it was REALLY hard. So make fun of me and then make your own.
1. Drive across the US on a motorcycle.
2. Buy a house…dodge renovations.
3. Visit Ireland/England. I’ve already been to Australia, and New Zealand is on my list too. But these two, with the inclusion of Greece, are places that need special attention.
4. Write our movie script – To be clear, we’ve been working on it for a while. So it’s not just some random thing.
5. Acid, Mushrooms, Xstacy – Never done them. Always wanted to.
6. Become a BBQ judge master. (This probably means getting fat.)
7. Do stand up, preferably not getting heckled or booed off stage.
8. Get in “shape”. (Like, a better shape.)
9. Watch the AFI and maybe the Criterion movies. (Maybe I’ll just watch a bunch of old shit.)
10. Watch fireworks from an airplane.
11. Watch football. Like football.
12. Learn the constellations. Because that’s some romantic shit.
13. Touch my toes, but standing and sitting. (Thereby giving me the flexibility of Spider-Man!)
14. Become more spontaneous. (I always have a plan. I don’t deviate. I had a chance to meet that hot red-head from That 70’s Show with some friends but dipped because I’d been up for 24 hours or something stupid. WTF is wrong with me?)
15. Learn to play guitar OR piano. NOT the clarinet.
16. Take a survival classes…preferably, how to find water, food, shelter, mend clothes and KILL!
17. Ride a donkey down the Grand Canyon.
18. Wake up in time to see a meteor shower/eclipse/Haley’s comet. (I have no idea when Haley’s comet is coming again. Plus, I made that possessive. I don’t think Haley owns the comet.)
19. Visit Australia.
20. Learn to speak BASIC Japanese.
21. Get a motorcycle license. – (Been there, done that.)
22.Change someone else’s life. (For the better. Karma for if there are pearly gates.Something other than just giving someone some money.)
23. Learn and follow a religion. (Probably something more philosophical, like Buddhism. Raised Catholic, so I’ve done the whole Christiany thing. Lame sauce.)
24. Figure out how to troubleshoot my own vehicle. (And change my own oil.)
26. Find someone to teach me how to drive a stick.
This is where it’s getting difficult. I’m like, “I don’t know, I can try Black Pepper Doritos.” Which is stupid because c’mon, we ALL know those things suck. Anyways, these are the ones I’m thinking REALLY hard about.
27. Visit Harry Potter World.
28. Brew/bottle my own beer.
29. Do a cleanse. (You know, like a gross one with lemon and cayenne pepper or something.)
30. Learn a dance. A cool one. Maybe I’ll do it at a party. Probably Gangnam Style.
31. Take a cruise. (I’ve never done a cruise. Seems fun. I’ll probably throw up.)
32. Go to Comic-Con in Cosplay. Like, really good Cosplay. And attend the Comic-con ball. Yup, there’s a ball.
33. Go on a ghost hunting expedition and see some freaky ass shit!
34. Learn to write with my left hand.
35. Get a tattoo. A good one, like a sleeve.
36. Get a duster. (Yeah, get jealous.)
37. Take archery classes and become the next Katniss.
38. See Buffy the Musical in a theater.
39. Get a gun permit, although, nobody tells me what to do, so, ya know, just get a gun.
40. Buy the next person’s drink on an airplane.
I’m not nearly smart enough.
Three days a week for the past three months I’ve woken up at 7 am and gone to the gym.
I’ve gone from running 2 miles to 5 miles in 45 minutes.
I can do the ab crunch machine at 125 lbs. as opposed to 35 lbs.
I can do the butterfly machine at 65 lbs. as opposed to 25 lbs.
I’ve lost 15 lbs.
I look better than I did at my wedding.
And I still don’t have that feeling that everyone talks about where I look forward to getting to the gym. I don’t have a runner’s high. I don’t necessarily feel “better” or “healthier”. I still dread going. I don’t like “the burn”. I hate having a “stitch” in my side. The smell is gross. The water from the water fountain isn’t cold enough. A stupid tv on the treadmill blocks my view of the window. The gym shower curtain doesn’t close all the way. Sometimes I forget my towel and have to dry off with paper towels from the bathroom.
However, my hair looks cool when I sweat cause it sticks up like Vegeta’s.